Patrick, I absolutely agree with you that code validity is not the most important thing and shouldn’t affect the design decisions nor should it be perceived as a measure of design quality.
However, there is a good reason for having a defined set of standards for the web content, as it is meant to be device and media independent.
At the same time it is very confusing that building a valid website doesn’t mean anything even today, because it is very likely that it will look different in most of the browsers.
In fact there are very few HTML and CSS limitations that are true “design limitations” for the graphic designers. It is the slow progress of CSS adaptation and implementation among major browsers which is the real obstacle.
Despite all that, I think it is possible to achieve a good and sensible balance between valid code and complex design solutions. It just a matter of personal taste and understanding of what the particular HTML elements mean and how they can be used to achieve the specific needs.
CSS3 is huge step forward, but how many years it will take until designers will be able to rely on it?